Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Dinner Party

The Bravo Network really needs to just change their name to "The Gay Men Emily Would Like to be BFFs with Network." We'd have tons of dinner parties. I'd dazzle them with my low calorie recipes. Andy Cohen would always have the honor of head of the table. Andy would make me his side kick on "Watch What Happens Live". I'd get to contribute my own mazel of the week. I'd help him cast The Real Housewives of Pittsburgh,you know his local expert. Isaac Mizrahi and Christian Siriano would fight over who got to dress me.I'd be Isaac's taste tester for the cheesecake he hawks on QVC, and the muse for his next collection. Christian would introduce me to Tori Spelling and her legions of gays, and we'd call her a hot tranny mess behind her back. Tim Gunn and Michael Kors would stop by for cocktails. I mean we can hardly let Lifetime folks stick around for the whole meal. The honorary sixth housewife, Dwight from Atlanta would help me launch my own fashion line. Jeff Lewis would be my lunch buddy. We would spend our lunches mocking Ryan, and I'd make sure he had the appropriate number of salsas. Brad from the "Rachel Zoe Project" and I would attend New York Fashion Week together. Kim Vo and I would give Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves a run for their money with our own line of hair extensions and reality show on the price of beauty in Saginaw. Of course we'd let the various contestants of the competition shows hang out during their fifteen minutes, but they'd really have to be something special to enter the inner circle.
I'd spend wild times with my Bravo Gays and Sunday would be family time with my TLC BFFs.
Can you tell I watch entirely too much TV? This blog always comes back to Icie, and really this is all her fault. I have a hard time falling asleep after she fusses, so my DVR gets a real workout at night. Who would make up your reality TV circle of friends? Yes, this is a desperate attempt to solicit some comments, I have no shame.


  1. Honey, after reading this post...I just had to become a follower. I never knew there could be another Bravo-obsessed soul out there - just like me! I just know we'll be the best of blog friends.

    I love your description of, dare I say it, Bravo heaven? A few 'queen' lovin', fashion deprived housewives can only dream, right? Only I'd have to add a few therapy sessions shaping those god-awful millionaires into decent men with the ever-so-bitchy Patti - oh, and a late night of bustin' my ass off for little to no money in the bustlin' city of New York for the crazy, fashion-crazed Kelly Cutrone just so I could possibly get an opportunity to skim through her Bravo celebrity filled Rolodex.

    I'll sign off on this ridiculously long comment with a quote from Queen Bee herself, Zoila Chavez - "Chut up, Jey-frey!"

  2. I have a Housewives post in me somewhere, I just wanted to pay special hommage to the gays.

    I totally agree about Patti and Kelly. I about died a few episodes ago when Patti called one of the rejected women a fire crotch.

    Oh that Zoila is so sassy since she became legal!


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