Sunday, April 18, 2010

There Will Always Be New Worries.

Last week we were blessed with some awesome weather, and although the sun is still shining the summer temperatures are long gone. My husband got home early on the nicest day of the week and we headed to the park.
I've been working on an album for Icie, a little keepsake. It's not full blown scrapbooking, because honestly I don't have the attention span for that kind of a commitment. I am simply taking a picture from each month of 2009 and 2010 and placing them side by side so we can see how our little bird has grown. It's low commitment and something I can add to every year very easily.
I was reminded about how far Icie has come when I was thinking about the May 2009 picture I'll use when it comes time to make my May page. Last year at this time Icie was still having physical therapy once a week. I tried not to show my worry. I was running scenarios of life long therapy sessions in my head. I was completely terrified that the joy that I had as a child in dance class and sports may not be an option for the bird. These were completely irrational fears. Everyone kept telling me this was a temporary thing, she had all the ability in the world she was just being stubborn. I don't think I ever really discussed my fears with anyone, not even my husband. I just worried silently and ate, that's how I deal.
Icie had a very mild case of torticollis. Torticollis is basically a weakened neck muscle that cause an infant to lean to one side or the other. Torticollis is usually caused by birth trauma or malposition in the womb. Icie's case was so mild I tend to think it was due a little to her size and how quickly she was delivered. Icie had a self healing pneumothorax (a slight tear in her lung) due to her delivery and she had a little fluid pocket on her head on the opposite side of her torticollis. The fluid pocket was gone by the time she was about 3 weeks old, but I think that she had gotten so used to laying on the opposite side just for comfort purposes that her torticollis became a little more pronounced then it would have otherwise.
She started therapy in March and by June just before we moved she was done. We had a brief encounter with a helmet to correct her head shape and by July she was completely helmet free and physically caught up with all her developmental milestones.
I felt a huge sense of relief, and then new worries emerged. I suddenly had a daredevil that was physically capable on my hands. Last summer she was not walking yet, this summer I have a runner. I suddenly understand and no long look down on leashed children. I even had one in my hand at Meijer a few weeks ago, I put it down after about two minutes of serious consideration.
On that beautiful day last week I was thankful for the all the bumps and bruises and skinned knees these days at the park may have to offer.

Icie rocking the IV in the NICU waiting for her pneumothorax to heal.

A shot of her bump.

Helmet time!





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