Monday, February 6, 2012

Maternity Monday ~ Overwhelmed

How far along:  36 weeks
Gender:  Another girl for us, pink prevails!
Pregnancy Symptoms:  Sleeping hands and feet, achy hips, morning sickness, and the mask of pregnancy rash across my face.
Maternity Clothes:  All day every day, that is if I even make it to “real” pants and not yoga pants.
Movement:  A lot of movement right after meals and at night time, her kicks are downright painful now.
Best Moment of the Week:   I got another peek at baby girl today.  I had a non-stress test, another growth scan, and a visit with the midwife.  She is measuring in the 63rd percentile at 6 pound 3 ounces and still is enjoying sucking her toes.   The only down side was that toe sucking really blocked us this time from getting any decent pictures.
Food Cravings:  Right now food is absolutely a pain.  I don’t want anything, I’m just eating to make numbers now.
Weight Gain:   I’m up two pounds bringing me back to 14 pounds total weight gain.
Days until Due Date:  28
What’s Happening This Week via
Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.
At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position. But if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an "external cephalic version," which is a fancy way of saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by manipulating her from the outside of your belly

The past few weeks have been just kind of crappy.  There are  a lot of things weighing on my mind.  I cannot seem to calm my thoughts and it's keeping me from getting things done.  Annie's room is still not done.  We are waiting on a couple of deliveries, and I keep telling myself that as soon as everything is here this week I'll be good to go.   I walked into the room yesterday and did a few things, but I walked out shortly afterwards because I just felt overwhelmed.  
I freaked myself out this week with doing some self diagnosing via Google images.  Around week 20 of my pregnancy, there were some discrepancies with Annie's heart rate during an ultrasound.  I was sent for a high resolution ultrasound to check her heart.  I was also sent for some blood work.  Among the blood work was a test for Lupus.  Sometimes a rare form of neonatal Lupus can cause the heart rate of the baby to fluctuate.  Annie was deemed healthy by the specialist that performed the test and I was told there was no need for concern.  All my subsequent visits have shown nothing but normal rates for Annie.  
I don't remember anyone going into details about the blood work results but I figured no news is good news right?   Recently I developed a rash across my face that seems to get worse as the day goes on.  The rash never fully goes away but the intensity of the rash changes throughout the day.   I did some Googling,  thinking that this was a normal pregnancy side effect.   I came across an image of the butterfly rash that is associated with Lupus  and freaked the heck out.  There are many levels of the severity of the rash for Lupus patients, but my rash definitely fell somewhere in the mild spectrum of the pictures I saw.  
The doctor's office had already messed up one set of my test results, what if they had done it again?   It was my first question when the midwife entered the exam room this morning.   She quickly went back through my chart, found the results, and put my fears at ease.   My results were negative.   The rash is still there though.   Rather than jump into more testing during the last few weeks a pregnancy, we have decided to just monitor it for the time being.  If by the time I return for my 6 week postpartum appointment my skin had cleared, they will refer me to a dermatologist.   
My fears are eased a bit, but my hormones have me reeling still.   I'm having a really hard time not playing "what ifs" now and this situation is no exception.  I feel as  though these last few months have been so stress-filled that I could really easily lose it.   
I'm thankful that Dave is finally getting stronger after his surgery, but he still has a few more weeks of restriction and I worry that because he's feeling better he may over do things.  
I worry about how Icie will transition with the baby.   She seems to be excited, but I'm not sure she really understands.  I'm pretty sure that the stress in the house and the fact that she is three and going to test limits is weighing on her recently.   
I worry about everyone and everything constantly.   I know most of my worries are not rational.  I know worrying is not productive.   I know all the logical things about not stressing out.   I just seem to not be able to get a handle on things for too long at a time.   These hormones are just out of control.  

1 comment:

  1. take a deep breath girl <3 everything will be alright no matter what! You have a wonderful family and wonderful friends (if I do say so myself hehe) and if you need to call and vent please do so! any time!


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